


interstellar strut

by orphan_account



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Human AU, college au sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-28
Updated: 2015-09-28
Packaged: 2018-04-23 21:10:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4892365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Overthinking: An Exercise in Misery"</p>
            </blockquote>





	interstellar strut

**Author's Note:**

> i have no excuse for this

Rose sat in the comfy beanbag in her room and stared at the ceiling. Her face, gently lit by the number of Christmas lights strung around the walls, was furrowed in thought. She felt she should be doing something more important– homework, perhaps, or working on the various armor designs she had lying around, but her mind was clogged. Stuck on one thing, and it was the person sitting in the room next to hers.

Pearl.

Pearl had never been a very subtle person, Rose found.

Rose knew Pearl had been crushing on her for months. It was hard not to notice. Rose could almost remember the day when she first saw that bright spark in her eyes; Rose was going to a formal event, the details of which escape her now, but she walked out of her bedroom in her favorite evening gown and Pearl had just…blossomed. A rosy tinge colored her cheeks, her mouth dropped slightly, and her eyes seemed to take up her whole face. The resulting conversation stuck in her head, and was something she thought about frequently.

_“Alright, time for me to head out!” Rose said, exiting from her room. She put a hand on her hip and fluffed her massive hair curls with her other, smiling playfully. “What do you think? Good enough for rock and roll?”  
_

_Pearl looked over from the couch she was sitting on and her face changed completely. Her eyes seemed to become even larger than they usually were, the ambient light making them shimmer._

_“Rose…!” Pearl said, breathless._

_“Yeah, Pearl? Oh, you don’t think it’s too much, is it?” Rose said. She looked down over herself; it was her favorite, but she didn’t want to seem to be peacocking for attention._

_“You’re…” Pearl said, standing. She took one of Rose’s hands and clasped it in her own. “Positively **radiant.** Nobody will be able to take their eyes off of you.”_

_Rose’s eyebrows shot up, completely taken off-guard. She had never been called radiant before. Pretty, sure, but…_

_Rose’s voice hitched for a moment before responding. “I…Thank you, Pearl!”_

Ever since that day, Pearl always stayed a little closer to Rose. Answered her texts a little quicker, and was always a little more hesitant to say good night. Small things, but when you’re roommates, you get attuned to each others’ habits, and Pearl’s habits were always rigid and regimented. Except when it came to Rose.

Rose sighed and stretched out her legs, leaning back deeper into the bag. She had known about Pearl’s feelings, so…why hadn’t she said anything to her yet? Pearl hadn’t said anything because she’s Pearl, she would rather die than inconvenience anyone, and  
Rose knew too well that Pearl considered her own feelings to be a burden to those she cared about.

The last girl Pearl was hung up over was some one-night stand she’d had. Rose strained to remember her name, but after a few moments it came to her lips– “Amethyst! That was it.” Out of character for Pearl to have a random fling, but she had been drinking, and so had Amethyst…one thing led to another, the flesh was willing, and the next morning they’d woken up with a yelp.

Amethyst had booked it, but Pearl had stayed in bed– both literally and metaphorically. She couldn’t get past that night. Whatever she saw in Amethyst (probably her figure; she was short but damn) had stuck with her, and she was head over heels after a week.  
She stuck close to Rose for the couple of weeks that the crush lasted. Pearl wanted so very much to see Amethyst again, but knew deep down that it was just a fling.

“Just a one-time thing, that’s all it was, we were drunk, I was…it had been a while, she doesn’t want to see you…” Rose said out loud. All the little excuses Pearl tried to use to drill reality into herself, but only made the crush worse.

Pearl finally saw her on campus once, in the library, and tried to wave at her. Amethyst saw her and apparently fled without a word, confirming Pearl’s fears. There was a lot of ice cream and cuddling that night.

The cuddling…Rose shifted, feeling a warmth bloom in her chest. The warmth made her happy, but it worried her too.

After all this time, Rose had to admit to herself that she was falling for Pearl now.

Rose covered her face with her hands, hiding herself from the judging eyes of the various stuffed animals she had lying about. A blush was starting to rise on her own cheeks, and she couldn’t bear anyone seeing her like this.

While Rose knew when Pearl started to have feelings, she couldn’t pinpoint the origin of her own. She just gradually became more aware of how her friend looked. The precision with which she could do anything, from tidying up to drinking to even tying her shoes. The way she became devoted to anything she set her heart on. The compassion she felt for everyone…disregarding her own feelings to ensure that those she cared for were happy.

Rose got up from her beanbag, moving to the side of her bed and sitting down. That last point was what made this difficult. She knew Pearl had been hopelessly in love with her for months. Why didn’t she say anything about it before it got to this point? Before she had fallen in love herself, and announcing it to Pearl would just humiliate her? She closed her eyes and saw the discussion in her mind.

_“Pearl…I know you like me, and I like you, so let’s go out!” Rose said._

_“I’m…You know?” Pearl asked, face falling._

_“Honey, it was a little obvious. I’ve seen you in love before,” Rose said, laughing._

_“Oh, no, I’m so sorry,” Pearl would say. “I didn’t…I’m so sorry!”_

She’d run and hide. Too caught up in being embarrassed about it being known for so long that she wouldn’t have time to be happy about the fact that her feelings were reciprocated. She’d spend the rest of the night curled up in a corner and hating herself for making it so obvious, and then nobody would be happy.

Rose couldn’t just not say anything about it, either. She had known for too long to just shuffle that point off to the side. That wouldn’t be fair to Pearl. None of this was fair to Pearl, really.

Rose got up from her bed, expression suddenly defiant. That’s right! None of this was fair to Pearl! Pearl needed to know how she felt right now. It would be the only way to make up to her for the months of torture she certainly put her through.

Rose made her way to her door and twisted the knob, flinging open her door…and slamming directly into Pearl with a loud, fleshy “thunk”.

Rose looked down and saw that Pearl had fallen, a bruise starting to bloom on her nose. “Oh my god! Pearl!”

Rose dove to Pearl’s side, cradling her head in one arm and placing her hand on Pearl’s cheek. After a minute Pearl’s eyes fluttered open, and she gave a small groan.

“Oh…Rose?” she said quietly. “Are you okay?”

“Oh, Pearl!” Rose said, huffing slightly. “I hit you in the face with my door, and you ask if _I’m_ alright…honestly!”

“Sorry,” Pearl said, flushing slightly. She looked away, a tempest of self-loathing brewing behind her eyes already. Rose needed to cut that off now.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Rose said. “Are you okay, though?”

Pearl looked back, a faint smile barely being restrained on her face. “Of course, Rose. I’m perfectly fine.”

Rose frowned. “You were at my door…is something wrong?”

“Oh!” Pearl said, the flush on her pale cheeks deepening. “Oh, no, no, I’m– I forgot. The hit jostled my memory.” She gave a small laugh, but there wasn’t any humor behind it.

“Pearl…” Rose said. She could feel her heart hammering in her chest. “I think I know what it was.”

“What? No, no! No, you couldn’t possibly know, it wasn’t anything important…” Pearl said.

“Pearl, you wouldn’t say that if you didn’t remember,” Rose said. Pearl was digging herself deeper. It was now or never. “Let’s talk, okay?”

Rose wound her arm underneath Pearl. She clutched onto her loose pajamas and picked her up as tenderly as she could, making Pearl yelp. She closed in on herself, trying desperately not to touch any part of Rose that Rose wasn’t already holding on with.

Rose walked over to the sagging futon and sat down, keeping Pearl in her lap.

“Pearl…” Rose began. She looked down, sad. “Pearl, I know.”

“Know what?” Pearl asked. Her voice was high and squeaky. Barely restraining herself, just as always.

“I’ve known how you feel about me for a while, Pearl,” Rose said. She couldn’t look into Pearl’s eyes. She imagined so much betrayal behind them, and it made her chest hurt.

“Rose, I don’t…” Pearl began, but Rose cut her off.

“I’m so sorry, Pearl!” Rose said. Tears were starting to sting at her eyes. “I knew for so long…I knew you liked me, and I didn’t do a thing about it! The only reason I can talk about it now is because of my feelings, and that’s so terrible for you…”

“Your what?” Pearl asked.

“It’s so unfair to you,” Rose said, ignoring Pearl. “So unfair. I strung you along for months, months that you could have had to yourself if I just said something first! And now I like you, and I don’t know how I can possibly make up for all that lost time…”

“You _what?_ ” Pearl asked again.

“Pearl, I just…” Rose looked up, tears running down her cheeks. “I’m so sorry! Is there anything I could possibly do to make this up to you?”

Rose looked at Pearl and saw her eyes as wide as they’d ever been. But there was not a hint of betrayal behind them. No humilation. Just excitement, the same bright excitement she saw when she walked out into the living room that night months ago.

“Rose, you…you like me?” Pearl said, voice hushed.

Rose nodded vigorously. “Pearl, I love you so much,” she said. “I can’t bear to know that you were waiting all this time for me to say that.”

Pearl sat there, stunned into silence, not moving an inch. The gears in her head were turning so quick Pearl couldn’t keep up.

Rose leaned in and kissed Pearl. Pearl’s lips were stiff as a board initially, but after a moment they relaxed, as did the rest of Pearl’s rigid muscles. Pearl melted into Rose fully, and it made Rose’s heart soar. This is exactly what she had expected out of her roommate. Her friend. Her love.

Rose broke apart. “My beautiful Pearl,” she said. “You deserved better.”

“Rose,” Pearl said, eyes still wide, the spark of life slowly returning to her cognitive functions. “I was never waiting. You were with me the whole time, and I was perfectly happy just to stay by your side.”

“But…all that time…!” Rose protested, but Pearl shook her head.

“Rose, the only time I ever wasted was the time I spent apart from you,” Pearl said, quietly.

“Pearl…” Rose said, and the tears started running down her face anew. She gave a loud, ugly sob, and felt Pearl put her arms around her neck, nestling her face deep into Rose’s curls. Rose brought Pearl in close, squeezing her as hard as she could without breaking the poor dancer.

“Rose, don’t cry, please,” Pearl whispered. “I l…love you too much for you to cry about us.”

Rose nodded, but the tears wouldn’t stop. She would make this up to Pearl, to reward her for her lost months.

“Dinner!” Rose said suddenly. “I need to…we need to go out to dinner tonight. Somewhere nice, where we can get like…lobster or something!”

Pearl pulled back, surprise clear on her face again, but she broke into laughter. “You decided this just now?”

“Yes!” Rose said, nodding vigorously. “Get on your nicest dress! I’ll get on mine…I’m taking you on a date tonight, goddamnit!”

“That sounds lovely,” Pearl said, inbetween small giggles. She got off her lap and stood up, offering a hand to Rose. Rose took it and stood up, a couple hitching sobs still erupting from her throat. She took Pearl by the shoulders and brought her in tight.

“It’s a date! A date date!” Rose said again, emphatically. “Because I love you, Pearl. I do!”

It took Pearl a solid minute to respond to her face being slammed directly into Rose’s chest, but once she had regained her bearings she wrapped her arms around Rose’s waist gingerly.

“I love you too, Rose. Always.”


End file.
